You know what? I missed this. I missed Survivor. I missed over-extrapolating and interpreting every minute detail of a flawed, fallible show produced by flawed, fallible people.

Why is the article late this week? Because the pug has no bones. And when the pug DOES have bones, I have other, more important things to do like talk to my wife and guest star on other podcasts.

Yes, that’s right. Back at it again with the nearly-mindless satire where I express all of my most extreme thoughts and judgements about the most recent episode of Survivor.

Welcome back to my raw, unfiltered satire where I let everybody know how I feel about the latest episode of Survivor. If you would like more constructive thoughts, listen to our recap podcast. BUT I’M NOT HERE TO BE CONSTRUCTIVE. I’M HERE TO DIAL IT UP TO 11 FOR NO REASON AT ALL!

Read to the end to see my way too early winner pick and to see my one person who can’t win the game. I’ll pick a different sure-fire loser every week so the internet can destroy me when I stick a fork in the eventual winner.